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Mike Pingree

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June 18, 2000

WHEN THE LAWNMOWER STOPS, TAKE OFF: Gutsy burglars have been breaking into homes in suburban Wisconsin during the daytime while the residents are just outside doing yardwork. Thefts have been reported over a wide area in Brookfield, Oconomowoc, Fox Point and Mequon. In one case, a 59-year-old woman went into her home after mowing her lawn only to find a man and a woman she did not know making off with a bag of her stuff. 
A short chase ensued, but to no avail.

BUT, I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE! Andrew Alberti thought he'd be a wiseguy as he was crossing the stage to collect his diploma from Brookfield (Wis.) High School, and took a dramatic pratfall, eliciting a gasp from the crowd, officials say. A vice principal discreetly hustled him off and tried to throw him out for failing to maintain a dignified manner during the ceremony, but he refused to leave and spewed profanity as he demanded to be let back into the gymnasium, the officials said. His older sister, Annemarie, joined in the dispute, vigorously defending her brother. 
Both were arrested for disorderly conduct.

AT ONE PLACE, YOU GET WOOD: A Florida strip joint has been named "Adult Depot," angering the good people at Home Depot, the national chain of home-improvement stores, who have sued, accusing the strip club owners of "degrading" and "diluting" Home Depot's trademark. Adult Depot's lawyers contend that people can easily tell the two businesses apart.

OH, NEVER MIND: Passing through an Oakland International Airport in Michigan, someone greeted the co-pilot of an outgoing flight, saying, "Hi, Jack." Unfortunately, he happened to be near an open microphone when he said it, and the word "hijack" echoed through the facility. Local police, SWAT teams, FBI and other federal agents soon converged on the airport. The flight was called back. Questions were asked. 
The misunderstanding was cleared up.

HI CHIEF, HAVE YOU SEEN A CROOK? The police chief of Hesse, Germany, probably thinking it would be easy to commit a crime if he was in full uniform, went into a store, stole a bottle of insecticide, and walked out. A store detective saw everything and gave chase. 
The police was arrested a short time later by two of his own men.

I THOUGHT I ORDERED HAZELNUT: A mischievous 12-year-old girl in New Haven, Conn., snuck into her classroom while it was empty, and tried to poison her sixth-grade teacher by pouring bleach, laundry detergent and perfume into the woman's coffee cup, police say. 
The smell, of course, alerted the teacher, who did not drink it.

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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