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Mike Pingree

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July 29, 2001

BUT I'M AN ARTISTE: Molly Jacobsen, a 27-year-old stripper at the Mons Venus club in Tampa, Fla., was arrested for doing lap dances - sitting naked on a man's lap while facing him and gyrating to the music. This is illegal in Florida. 
Molly argued in court that her work is actually an art form, protected by the U.S. Constitution. Describing her style, she said:   "I lean back, I lean forward.'' 
The jury didn't buy it, taking only seven minutes to convict her.

NO, WHO IS THIS REALLY? A chimpanzee named Chippy stole a mobile phone from one of his keepers at the Blair Drummond Safari Park in Scotland, and then, pressing the buttons of the preprogrammed numbers, started calling members of the zoo staff in the middle of the night. 
Those who sleepily answered the phone heard the unmistakable sound of a shrieking monkey.

HAVE I GOT A SURPRISE FOR YOU: A 58-year-old Rhode Island church deacon struck up a  "friendship" on the Internet with a 14-year-old girl, and, after two weeks, convinced her to meet him at a Massachusetts motel for a little bouncy-bouncy. 
When he arrived there, he discovered, to his dismay, that he had not been corresponding with a lovely young thing at all, but with a burly state trooper who arrested him.

HERE, DUBYA, COME ON BOY! President Bush has a pet cat he named "India." 
In Bombay, offended members of a Hindu nationalist group, bent on retaliation, naming dogs "George Bush."

THIS IS HIGHLY IRREGULAR, FATHER: Despite the celibacy requirement by the Catholic Church, a New York pastor married his secretary and continued to perform his priestly duties, celebrating Mass and presiding over funerals. 
The Diocese of Brooklyn found out about it and dismissed him.

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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