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Mike Pingree

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October 7, 2001

TIMING IS EVERYTHING: A man showed up to rob the Citizen's Bank in Middletown, Conn., at 3:08 p.m., eight minutes after the bank had closed. Employees looking out the window saw the man - who was wearing a mask, mind you - pulling on the locked door in frustration. They called the police. 
He gave up and fled in his truck, but was arrested a short time later.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM? A suave and smooth Colombian jet-setter, who moved easily among the rich travelers at European five-star hotels, had a secret means for maintaining his luxury lifestyle: stealing from his fellow guests. He was cool. He walked up to the front desk at the Bristol Hotel in Paris, demanded the key to a room which was actually occupied by an American banker, and stole credit cards, jewels and $20,000 in cash. While in the room, he donned a robe, and called the front desk for someone to open the safe, claiming he had lost his key. 
The man, known as "Juan" was finally arrested when a hotel guest caught him in the act.

BY APPOINTMENT ONLY: A 21-year-old man decided to rob the Osco Drug store in Manchester, N.H., but, first called the place and revealed his intention. This may be because he is a drug addict. He was apparently interested in obtaining the pain-killer Oxycontin. 
The druggist called the police who were waiting for the guy, and arrested him when he pulled into the parking lot.

BUT I'M NOT A TERRORIST, HONEST: After the terror attacks on the United States, a 59-year-old businessman resorted to extreme measures to persuade his wife to cancel her flight to Ireland. To prove to her that it is unsafe to fly, he smuggled four box-cutters onto a plane at Philadelphia International Airport, then called her from the plane and told her what he had done. 
He also informed the Federal Aviation Administration which sent police officers onto the plane to arrest him.

BUT I CAN EXPLAIN, OFFICER: Police in Togo, acting upon reports that Pastor Kokouvi Agbekossi was practicing witchcraft to woo parishioners who are very superstitious, raided his Church of the Lord for the Adoption. 
Among the items they discovered were vulture eggs, hyena paws and a hunchback's hump.

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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