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October 21, 2001

HOW DARE YOU COMPARE US TO SOCCER PLAYERS: German prostitutes are outraged at what they see as an insulting remark from soccer coach Eduard Geyer who compared his listless players to the ladies of Hamburg's notorious St. Pauli red-light district. 
"There are players whose view of performance is like the whores of St. Pauli," he said after a recent loss. "All they do is smoke cigarettes, drink too much and sleep around." 
The ladies of the evening say they work hard for the money, "12 to 14 hours every day - sometimes two weeks straight without a day off." 
Kalle Schwensen, a well-known princess of the pavement, said, "If Geyer's team were in as good condition as the whores of St. Pauli they'd be in first place in the Bundesliga."

LET'S CALL IT SMALLPOX BOULEVARD: With the current bioterrorist scare, a group of people in Fayetteville, N.C., have decided the name of their street strikes a decidedly inappropriate tone, and they want it changed. 
The name? Anthrax Street.

MMMMM, THESE PANCAKES ARE GREAT! Suspicious police in Bow, N.H., seized 13 cans of what was labeled "Pure Maple Syrup ... product of Quebec," from the car of a Quebec man at a truck stop. 
The cans contained three pounds of high-potency marijuana.

DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND WHY: A group of old ladies in Tasmania posed nude for a calendar to raise money to buy curtains for the community center. This was done last year by some middle-aged women in England, but the Tasmanian ladies are even older - 65 to 82. 
They are shown wearing only pearls or hats as they feed chickens, play cards, knit, or do kitchen work. Sales are said to be brisk.

INTOXICATED? US? WHY NO, OFFISHER: Some 200 Irish soccer fans got so drunk at a game in Scotland that airline officials refused to let them get on the plane to fly back home. 
The fans slept it off in the terminal, and flew out the next morning.

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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