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Mike Pingree

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June 2, 2002     

THOU SHALT NOT VANDALIZE THY NEIGHBOR'S GOODS: A teenager destroyed 80 beehives in a field in Northeast Harbor, Maine, by slamming into them with his pickup truck.     
The cops caught him when they found the Bible he kept in the door of the vehicle. The Bible, which apparently fell out during his rampage, had his name in it.     

ATTACK OF THE DEVOUT CHRISTIANS: A group of pagans trying to celebrate spring equinox in a Lancaster, Calif. parking lot were somewhat chagrinned when neighborhood Christians surrounded them and prayed loudly to Jesus and sang hymns.     
The High Priestess of the local witches and warlocks said the Christians descended upon them as soon as she yelled "sacrifice the chocolate rabbit," which they were going to melt into a fondue pot. No one was injured.     

NO, OFFICER, WE DON'T KNOW HOW IT GOT HERE: Three men stole a 5-foot-tall Automated Teller Machine from a San Francisco Internet cafe in the dead of night, and took it to a construction site a block away where they tried to break it open with steel bars, rocks and tools they found there.     
The cops showed up in response to noise complaints from neighbors and found them pretending to be asleep. The police were about to let them go when they saw the smashed ATM machine.     

HELLO, POLICE? YEAH, IT'S ME AGAIN, LOOK ...: Someone stole Ron Wilson's rusty old 1985 Chevy Blazer from his home in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, on a Sunday morning, but it was recovered at a parking lot that evening. He got it home at 9 p.m.     
Less than two hours later, it was stolen again.     

THAT REALLY SUX, MAN: A man who apparently has been unlucky in love requested and was granted a vanity license plate reading, "LUVSUX," from the state of Georgia.     
But, upon further consideration, motor vehicles officials revoked the plate, deciding that it has an "offensive connotation." The man has been ordered to return it immediately.

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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