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June 16, 2002     

NOW HE'S THE BUTT OF ESCAPE JOKES: A man being held on burglary charges in the Jefferson County jail in Missouri, engaged the most unusual escape attempt the guards there have ever seen.     
He removed his pants and, taking a running start, tried to break through a bulletproof window with his bare behind. He failed.     

HE WHO HESITATES ...: A group of would-be robbers waited so long in the parking lot of the Fredericksburg First National Bank in Pennsylvania that the bank closed before they could move in for the heist.     
A customer noticed them because they were wearing heavy coats and ski caps on a warm day. He saw them try to enter the bank two minutes after the noontime closing on Saturday, and called the cops as soon as they drove off.     

YOU CALL THAT SAFEKEEPING? A man hid $20,000 in cash in his girlfriend's oven and was dismayed to learn that the pilot light caught it on fire, burning about half of it.     
Police detective Capt. Robert Kelly, who was alerted to the situation by firefighters, said, "We are trying to determine if there is a criminal element to this."     

BUT, OTHER THAN THAT ...: The National Republican Congressional Committee named as California's Republican of the Year Tom Palmeri, a member of the Covina City Council.     
The Republicans didn't realize that he is a Democrat.     

PAY PER VIEW: A land speculator bought a 4-acre Florida lake and a thin strip of land around it at a delinquent tax sale for $1,000. Residents whose expensive homes surround the lake thought they owned the land all the way to the water's edge were surprised to see a six-foot fence being put up all around the lake, blocking their view.     
The speculator says he will remove the fence when each of the 15 lakefront residents pays him $30,000. They are outraged.

 

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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