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Mike Pingree

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May 25, 2003

DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? The mayor of a small Ohio town was arrested for drunken driving after he sideswiped a tree and a fence and kept on driving. The police pulled over and arrested him after seeing him driving along with a tree branch sticking out of the car.     
Then his wife came to the station - smelling of alcohol - to bail him out. They arrested her for drunken driving too.

EEEASY NOW! An 81-year-old man's gas pedal got stuck when he backed up his car in a Pittsburgh parking lot sending the vehicle shooting across a street and coming to rest halfway over the edge of a cliff. It was held in place by only a couple of skinny, swaying trees.     
Police came and pulled him out.

THE PRINCE OF MORTGAGE BROKERS: About 40 years ago, a Cedar Falls, Iowa, woman engaged in a passionate affair with a Nigerian graduate student at Northern Iowa University. She got pregnant, he went back to Africa, and she put the baby up for adoption.     
Searching for his parents all these years later, the baby, who grew up in Minnesota as Marty Johnson, and became a mortgage broker, discovered that his father is one of a line of Nigerian chiefs. So he is a prince, next in line to the throne. Marty Johnson will then be known as Ude-Ekeh.

I'LL GET UP WHEN I'M DRY: A woman saw a man's leg sticking out of a clothes dryer at a laundromat in Lake Carmel, N.Y., one morning, and thought she'd come upon the scene of a murder. Then the "victim" spoke.     
It seems he was walking home from a local pub the night before, and stopped at the laundry to warm up. Then he decided to crawl into the dryer and go to sleep.

THEY JUST KEEP ON COMING: Nearly 100,000 noisy, squawking crows are swarming all over the high-rise apartments of Singapore, and authorities are trying to stamp them out.     
It won't be easy. A two-year study found that the birds breed so quickly that their population could double in a year.

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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