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Mike Pingree

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August 8, 2004

NO, NO, I CAN EXPRAIN: A Japanese businessman trying to learn English is in the habit of writing down words and phrases he does not understand so he can look them up later. That is the reason he wrote down "suicide bomb'' while on a flight from Chicago to Dayton, Ohio. Unfortunately, a stewardess saw it.

PLEASE, DO NOT BE ALARMED! As a cruise ship was returning to New York from the Bahamas at 3:45 a.m., an unauthorized person went on the public address system and told everyone to "abandon ship.''
This did not go over well with about 1,000 angry passengers who assembled on deck in their nightclothes. Apologetic crewmen offered reassurances.

OH HONEY, COULD YOU COME OUT HERE? As she drove her truck through Arkansas in the dead of night, a woman said that what she thought was a large moth flew in through her half-opened window and began flapping around her head.
She swatted it down, and, when she turned on the light, discovered it was a bat with a five-inch wingspan, still alive. She sped home to her husband, who caught the winged creature in a Mason jar.

THUS BEGINS THE NEW 'GREAT DEPRESSION': Because his grandfather lost $19,000 in a bank failure during the Great Depression, an 80-year-old Minnesota man never trusted banks and figured his money would be safer if he kept it in his home. It wasn't.
Someone broke in and stole $90,000.

GROWL! GIVE HIM BACK! After an alligator chomped down on a dog's head, another dog got into a tug-of-war with the 'gator, biting down on the dog's hind leg and trying to pull the animal out of danger.
He kept it up until the dogs' owner came and threw a piece of concrete at the alligator, scaring it away.

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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