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Mike Pingree

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December 12, 2004

WHO YOU CALLIN' FATSO!? WHAP! After 4,000 men dressed as Santa Claus completed the annual 2-mile charity race in Newtown, Wales, they all went into the pubs where they indulged excessively for a considerable period.
Several hours later police were called to the center of town where they found an army of drunken Santas beating each other senseless.

``BUBBLE, BUBBLE, YOU'RE IN TROUBLE:'' A lesbian teacher in Michigan practiced witchcraft with a 14-year-old female former student, and even "married'' the girl in a pagan ritual. The teacher was arrested for consummating the "marriage.''

AND, AFTER THAT, HANGED: A California sheriff's deputy, in pursuit of romance with a woman who wanted nothing to do with him, showed up at her home - in uniform - to make his case. He was convicted of trespassing and fired.
But he was later reinstated by the Sacramento County Civil Service Commission, a decision that sparked outrage from the woman's mother. She dropped the commissioners a rather succinct note: ``You should be tarred and feathered!''

THIS LOOKS LIKE AS GOOD A PLACE AS ANY: A Pennsylvania man made the mistake of planting marijuana on some remote land that was owned by a retired police chief. He was arrested.
The former chief said, ``I don't think he had any knowledge of where he was. It was a this-is-your-brain-on-drugs type of thing.''

DISTURB ME, WILL YOU! A middle-aged man, watching TV naked at 5 a.m. in his home in Tacoma, Wash., threw on a robe and rushed outside when his girlfriend told him that someone was stealing his Cadillac.
He found a young man inside the car trying to hot-wire it with a screwdriver. He proceeded to beat the would-be thief until he was whimpering on the ground in the fetal position. The cops came and took him away.

Mike Pingree writes another Looking Glass column in the Boston Sunday Herald. You can read it by clicking here:
http://www.bostonherald.com/news/columnists.html

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