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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Jan - Mar, 2001)

March 25, 2001

TEACHER'S PET ... WE JUST HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR YOU, MA'AM ... PUTT, PUTT, PUTT, PUTT, PUTT, AIEEEEE!  ... WILD THING! YOU MAKE MY EARS RING!  ... CONGRATULATIONS! KA-BLAM!

March 18, 2001

OW! OUCH! OK, I'LL GIVE YOU SEVEN DOLLARS ... OH THANK YOU, AUNTIE ... KING OF THE JUNGLE, EH?  ... I TOLD YOU ONCE, HE'S NOT HERE   ... GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK

March 11, 2001

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR? ... GIVE MY REGARDS TO THE LITTLE LADY, BOB: ... TO THE HIDEOUT, AND STEP ON IT!  ... AT LAST, MY NAME IN LIGHTS!   ... DO THESE BELONG TO ANYBODY?

March 4, 2001

A POPULAR NEIGHBORHOOD MOM ... DAMN CHEAP FOREIGN IMPORTS ...SCALPEL! FORCEPS! OH NO!  ... HE CLEARLY NEEDED HELP IN MATH  ... OH, HE'S LEARNED HIS LESSON ALL RIGHT

February 25, 2001

THEY'RE NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR MIND ... NOW HE'S KING OF THE PRISON COMMISSARY ... I'M RUNNING OUT OF PATIENCE WITH YOU  ... OOOOOH, THEY'RE SO BEAUTI ... ARGHHH!  ... YEP, I'M MATTHEW, THAT'S ME ALL RIGHT, UH-HUH

February 18, 2001

A VERY POPULAR GIRL ... FAMILY TIES ... YOU CAN GO; NO, REALLY, LEAVE  ... HOW MUCH THIS TIME!? ... JUST MAKING A POINT

February 11, 2001

EXCUSE ME, TERRIBLY SORRY, AHHHH! ... HE NEEDS TO HAVE A BUDGET ... CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?  ... BUT, MEDICINE IS MY LIFE! ... NOT POISON? BOY, AM I EMBARRASSED

February 4, 2001

FROM NOW ON, BOTTLED MILK ONLY ... YOU DON'T SEE MANY OF THESE  ... HOT ENOUGH FOR YA'?  ... WE'LL BE SAFE HERE ... KEEP YOUR PREDICTIONS TO YOURSELF

January 28, 2001

YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, COPPER ... AIEEEE! ... REAL COOL CATS  ... OH, THE PAIN!  ... COME ON, BABY, YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO ... THANKS FOR DROPPING IN, PINHEAD

January 21, 2001

CRIMINAL MASTERMINDS ... I CAN'T SEEM TO LOSE THESE COPS  ... HONEY, I TOLD YOU A LITTLE FIB  ... TALK ABOUT BAD LUCK ... WELL, THANKS EVER SO MUCH

January 14, 2001

GLUB, GLUB, GLUB, CRUNCH! ARGHHH! ... ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?  ... THE BRIDE LOOKS LOVELY, ARREST HER  ... NOW, DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS, BUT ... AHHHH, THAT FEELS GOOD ... WHAT THE ...?

January 7, 2001

YOU GO, GIRL ... ARF! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT!? ... SO, HAVE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON?  ... SANTA MARIA! AIEEEE! BOIIIING! ... YOU'RE NOT STILL MAD, ARE YOU?