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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Jan. - Mar., 2002)

March 31,  2002

PLUS YOU CAN ALWAYS BLOW ON IT  ... REPEAT AFTER ME: `I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE ...' ... WELL, WELL, WHAT HAVE WE HERE? ... CALL ME A BAD SPORT, WILL YOU? ... CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL, CRASH!

March 24,  2002

LETS NOT HAVE ANY SECRETS, DARLING  ... IS YOUR "PASSENGER" OK, MA'AM? ... MOTHER, HOW COULD YOU? ... SOMETHING WAS LOST IN THE TRANSLATION ... GIMME THAT OLD-TIME RELIGION

March 17,  2002

THAT'S SOME PLEA BARGAIN  ... DEATH TO WEIRDOES! ... GO BACK, IT'S A TRAP! ... THEY CAME IN TOGETHER; THEY WENT OUT TOGETHER ... HOW DID THEY KNOW!?

March 10,  2002

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, PUNK!  ... ON SECOND THOUGHT ... SO WE WERE RIGHT AFTER ALL ... I GOT YOUR 'LOVE ZONE' RIGHT HERE ... ACH, ZAT BRINGS BACK MEMORIES

March 3,  2002

TRY TO HELP PEOPLE AND WHAT HAPPENS?  ... WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT CONGENIAL! WHAM! ... SOMETHING WRONG, OFFICER? ... IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED ... HE WAS PRETTY EASY TO SPOT

February 24,  2002

IF IT'S NOT YOU AND IT'S NOT ME, THEN WHO?  ... SACRE BLEU, WHAT A SURPRISE! ... SO LONG, SUCKERS, OOPS! ... ALL THAT TROUBLE AND FOR WHAT? ... HERE I COME, MY LOVE ... SQUISH!

February 17,  2002

THAT'S 12 OR LESS! WHAP! GET IT? WHAP!  ... A LITTLE HELP HERE! ... AND ANYWAY, IT WAS FAR MORE INTERESTING ... BLASPHEMOUS? WHY WOULD ANYONE THINK THAT? ... HEY DRIVER, YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY

February 10,  2002

YOU'LL FIND THEM AT THE CLUB BA-DA-BING ... WE'RE WITH YA', LADIES! RIGHT ON! ... SHALL WE DANCE? CHA-CHING! ... HEY, I'M TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT! ... CALL THEM RADAR DETECTOR DETECTORS

February 3,  2002

IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NOBODY CAN! ... KISSES SWEETER THAN WINE ... WELL, I KNOW WHAT YOU AREN'T WEARING ... IN HIS OWN WAY, HE ERUPTS TOO ... I'D HATE TO SEE THE OWNER'S FA..., WHAT THE!?

January 27,  2002

FLUSH! ARGHHHH! ... WHAT'S SO FUNNY!? ... PAY NO ATTENTION, SIR ... A BIT OF BAD FORM, OLD BEAN ... ALL IN GOOD FUN

January 20,  2002

HEY, EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES ... AT LEAST HE DIDN'T BREAK ANY RULES ... UH OH! ... HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY ... BUT SHE DIED HAPPY

January 13,  2002

NOT A GAL TO BE TRIFLED WITH ... HEH! HEH! THE COAST MUST BE CLEAR BY NOW ... THIS TIME WE MEAN BUSINESS ... DOWN, DOGGIE, DOW ... ARGHHH! ... BUT THE GUYS SAID THEY WERE SORRY, YOUR HONOR

January 6,  2002

AND HE DOESN'T DRESS THAT WELL EITHER ... OK, SO I MADE A MISTAKE, GEEZ ... YEAH SURE LADY, WE'RE KIND OF BUSY NOW ... HE JUST SEEMED MORE RELAXED THAN USUAL ... WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! BLAM!