Home

Other Archives

E-Mail
Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Jan. - Mar., 2003)

March 30,  2003

NEVER A COP AROUND WHEN YOU NEED ONE ... IT WAS FIELD RESEARCH, OFFISHER ... END OF DISCUSSION!  ... OK, OK, I GET THE MESSAGE ... FUN'S OVER, BOYS

March 23,  2003

WHAT WAS I THINKING? ... DEATH COMES BUT ONCE ... OR DOES IT?  ... NOW THAT'S A BARGAIN ... SIR, I'LL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO SIT DOWN  ... DEATH AND PRISON COULDN'T STOP THEM

March 16,  2003

THE BRIDGE OF THIGHS ... SO IT DIDN'T SEEM ODD TO YOU?  ... GENTLEMEN, PLEASE! ... THE PERFECT CRIME ... KA-BOOOM!  ... RIGHT, WE'VE HEARD THAT ONE BEFORE

March 9,  2003

BUT ISN'T THAT SHOWING FAVORITISM ... IT JUST WASN'T HIS DAY  ... AN UNPREDICTABLE PASSENGER ... HEY, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!  ... SHE'S A BIG, STRAPPING LASS

March 2,  2003

MA'AM, I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE ... ...HONEY, DON'T PAY THE RANSOM, I'VE ESCAPED  ... WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR LOVE? ... SO YOU HAVE TO WRITE IT DOWN AND ADMIT WHAT YOU ARE  ... A HARD MAN TO CATCH

February 23,  2003

OH COME ON, PULL OVER ... MADE FOR EACH OTHER  ... WHO, ME? ... DYNAMITE? EXPLODE? REALLY?  ... NOT TO MENTION BAD MANNERS

February 16,  2003

BURNING LOVE ... I FEEL PRETTY, OH SO PRETTY!  ... THAT'S 'ACQUITTED CRACK MAN' TO YOU ... SO HE HAD A GOOD EXCUSE  ... OPEN WIDE

February 9,  2003

THIS WON'T LOOK GOOD ON THEIR RECORD ... SHE'S HAVIN' MY BABY ... OR IS SHE?  ... THINK YOU SCARE ME? ... SO, HAVE YOU LEARNED YOUR LESSON?  ... MISTAKE NUMBER ONE

February 2,  2003

LET'S SEE, MOTIVE, MEANS AND OPPORTUNITY ... HE WON'T NEED MONEY WHERE HE'S GOING  ... BUT WE WERE JUST EXPRESSING OUR LOVE ...ANYTHING TO KEEP THE PEACE, DEAR  ... NO WONDER THERE'S NO TOURIST INDUSTRY IN BAN TAN

January 26,  2003

IS THAT IN THE UPRIGHT AND LOCKED POSITION OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME? ... THE CASE OF THE GOD-FEARING RAPIST  ... GOOD THING THEY WEREN'T RUNNING FOR SCHOOL BOARD ...DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!  ... RIGHT UP THEIR ALLEY

January 19,  2003

I PROMISE NOT TO LOOK ... NOT ONLY ROBBERY BUT LITTERING TOO  ... I THOUGHT WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL ... LARGE PIE FOR J. WENTWORTH BUCKINGHAM ... EXCUSE ME, 'OFFICER'

January 12,  2003

THEY JUST CAN'T SEEM TO GET ALONG ... WHATEVER HAPPENED TO PLAYING HARD TO GET?  ... JUST A LITTLE SPAT, OFFICER ... IF YOU WANT TO SEE TWEETY ALIVE ... ... JUSTICE: ALASKA STYLE

January 5,  2003

CONGRATULATIONS, DIRTBAG, NOW FREEZE! ... IF YOU LOVE ME, YOU'LL LET ME GO  ... A PRETTY GOOD CLUE ... WANTED: MAN WHO SMELLS LIKE MEXICAN FOOD ... IT WORKED ONCE, LET'S TRY IT AGAIN