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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Jan - Mar, 2004)

March 28,  2004

OK IF WE LOOK AROUND?  ... THIS SHOULD TURN THINGS AROUND! WHAP! ... SORRY TO SEE YOU GO ... A VERY UNFORTUNATE MAN ... SLEEPING ON THE JOB

March 21,  2004

A CASE OF FLAGPOLIS EXTREMIS ... UH, SHE CAN'T COME TO THE PHONE ... NOT IN THIS SCHOOL THEY DON'T ... IT TAKES MONEY TO MAKE MONEY ... THEY WERE TEACHER-STUDENT CONFERENCES

March 14,  2004

A VERY RESPONSIBLE DRUNK ... A CLEAN WORKER IS A HAPPY WORKER ... REGISTER THREE, CHANGE FOR A MILLION, PLEASE! ... WORK FIRST, THEN REST ... NOW PAY ATTENTION KIDS

March 7,  2004

WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME ... CALL THIS GUY `MR. SMOOTH' ... A BLOW TO THE PROSECUTION'S CASE ... SSSSSSS, FLASH, KA-BOOOOOM!  ... COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ANYONE

February 29,  2004

HEY, IT WAS ONLY A SUGGESTION ... HONEY! WHAT A SURPRISE! ... YOU AGAIN!? ... ANY MORE SUGGESTIONS? ... THANK YOU, YOUR HONOR, THANK YOU!

February 22,  2004

A SKILL THEY CAN USE ON THE OUTSIDE ... YOUR FUTURE IS SMOKY, VERY SMOKY ... NOW, THIS IS A KNIFE ... WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY FOR 110? ... OW, EXCUSE ME, OW, CAN YOU HELP ME?

February 15,  2004

ONE SMALL TOWN IS AS GOOD AS ANOTHER ... A MAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO GET QUICK MONEY ... GET A WHIFF OF THIS! ... NEXT TIME, BE READY ... GOOD, CLEAN FUN

February 8,  2004

MY GOD! WE'RE RICH! ... THE COPS ARE PIECING THE CASE TOGETHER ... STUPID AS WELL AS DEPRAVED ... A DAY HE'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER ... WE DON'T GET A LOT OF CALLS LIKE THIS

February 1,  2004

CALL HIM MR. SMOOTH ... AND MAYBE HE'LL ACHIEVE NIRVANA ... HA HA, THEY'LL NEVER GET ME NOW ... THEN THE FIGHT STOPPED AND A HOCKEY GAME BROKE OUT ... PUTTING AN END TO IT ONCE AND FOR ALL

January 25,  2004

KILL RICHIE ... KIIILLLLL RICHIE! ... OH, DON'T BE SILLY, DEAR ... YOU SCRATCH MY BACK, I'LL SCRATCH YOURS ... ZZZZZZZZ ... WHA..? OH, MOTION DENIED ... SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

January 18,  2004

I (BLAM) TOLD (BLAM) YOU (BLAM) TO (BLAM) STOP! ... LOOK, I JUST WANT DRUGS, OK!? ... HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING ... AH, RELIEF! WAIT! WHOA! NOOOO! ... HEY, NO FAIR!

January 11,  2004

TIME TO TRY TAKING FEWER BATHS ... A LITTLE SHORT ON CUSTOMER RELATIONS ... THIS HIDEOUT IS TAKEN ... THE BLOOM IS OFF THE ROSE, SO TO SPEAK ... THIS TIME, WE'RE SURE

January 4,  2004

HERE IT COMES NOW ... LATER, HE COULD CLAIM HE WAS DELIRIOUS ... HE'S BASICALLY HARMLESS UNLESS HE COMES UP WITH AN IDEA ... IT WAS THERE FOR THE TAKING ... WHA... WHO, US?