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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Apr - June, 2001)

June 24, 2001

THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY NOW? ... I'D LIKE TO MAKE A WITHDRAWAL ... BUT IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW ... HELLO, BABY, ROMEO CALLING ... OK, PAL, WHERE'S THE FIRE?

June 17, 2001

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED, IT WAS PROBABLY WORTH IT ... AND BAD GIRLS GET LOVE BITES ... I'M COMING HOME, JESUS ... SEE IF YOU CAN HOLD ONTO THIS ONE, JIMBO ... BUT HOW WILL I GET HOME?

June 10, 2001

WHAT'S GOOD FOR THE GOOSE ... BUT ITS BEEN A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU ... OK, COWBOY, LET'S GO ... THE PLOT THICKENS ... ALL IN THE LINE OF DUTY

June 3, 2001

THIS BABY HANDLES PRETTY GOOD ... SO, IS THIS YOURS? ... I WAS THERE, BUT I FORGOT ... SHOP 'TIL YOU DROP  ... IS THERE A MERIT BADGE FOR THAT?

May 27, 2001

SHE'S EVEN MADDER NOW ... WHY ON EARTH WOULD ANYONE TAKE PICTURES? ... ZZZZZZZ! WHAT WAS THAT? ... TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND COUNT TO TEN  ... NOT DEAD YET

May 20, 2001

POOKUMS, WE'VE GOT TO TALK ... DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME ... POLLY WANTS SOME COMPANY, AWWWWWK! ... HEY, I'M THE VICTIM HERE!  ... A MAN SCORNED

May 13, 2001

NOT ONLY THAT, IT HURTS WHEN I BARK ... YOU KNOW, HE DIDN'T ACT LIKE A TEACHER... GRANDMA, HOW COULD YOU!? ... I SAID, 'FORE!'  ... WE'VE GOT A PRETTY GOOD IDEA WHO HE IS

May 6, 2001

OH, THAT EXPLAINS IT ... SO, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? ... OK, OSBORNE, COME OUT OF THERE NOW ... HMMMM, SOMETHING DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT  ... OH, NOOOOOOOO! UMPHH!

April 29, 2001

YOU'RE MARRYING WHO? ... OTHER THAN THAT, IT'S HARD TO TELL THEM APART ... THE CASE OF THE MISSING OUTDOOR STUFF ... SOME CASES ARE EASIER THAN OTHERS  ... OOPS! TERRIBLY SORRY, BANG!

April 22, 2001

I DON'T DESERVE TO BE PUNISHED, WHAM! ... THAT WAS NO LADY ... WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET ARRESTED AROUND HERE?  ... SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA  ... YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS, NORM

April 15, 2001

WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION? ... OH, THAT EXPLAINS IT ... THE DREAM DIDN'T MENTION THAT  ... A SPRING IN HER STEP, A HOLE IN HER HEAD  ... GIVE HER AN INCH, AND ...

April 8, 2001

DIVORCE IS SO DISTASTEFUL ... FOILED BY A DAYDREAMING CLERK ... HEY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO COMFORT YOU  ... NOW, IS THAT A CHRISTIAN ATTITUDE?  ... HAPPY FEET

April 1, 2001

SO LONG AND THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, MONTEE ... THE RATINGS WEREN'T THE ONLY THING THAT WENT UP ... WHAT, AND LEAVE SHOW BUSINESS?  ... YOU DON'T SMELL FAMILIAR, CHOMP!  ... ANYWAY, WE HOPE YOU'VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON