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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Apr - Jun, 2005)

June 26,  2005

ZZZZZZZ! WHA!? OUCH! ... FIRE HAS ALWAYS FASCINATED ME ... THEY DO ADD A FESTIVE QUALITY ... METER VIOLATION!? WHAT METER!? ... I DEMAND RESTITUTION!

June 19,  2005

THE MOST IMPORTANT MEAL OF THE DAY ... CLICK, KA-BOOOOOOM! ... LIE ON THE FLOOR, EH? WHAM! SMACK! BOP! ... DOING? US? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? ... YOU CAN GO BACK IN, BUT BE CAREFUL

June 12,  2005

YOU'VE GOT AN HONEST FACE, KID ... HEY, COME BACK HERE! ... TIME FOR A SMOKE ... KA-BOOOOM! ... WHAT, ME? I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING ... I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY GOT THERE, OFFICER ... NURSING HOME TIME, MAYBE

June 5,  2005

I GUESS HE SHOWED THEM ... MAKE YOURSELF RIGHT AT HOME ... SO NICE TO MEET YOU IN PERSON ... I THINK THIS IS THE RIGHT PLACE, MEN ... SO THAT'S IT!

May 29,  2005

CRAZY OLD COOT? WHY WOULD THEY SAY THAT? ... IT'S THE ONE THEY USE FOR JUMBO ... SLIP SLIDIN' AWAY ... WE WERE ON OUR WAY TO CLOWN COLLEGE ... HE LIKED THE AREA

May 22,  2005

SO YOU SEE, I HAD A GOOD REASON, YOUR HONOR ... HEY, I GOTTA BE ME ... OK, JUST TRY TO BLEND IN ... YOUR HOUSE?! THIS IS MY HOUSE! ... GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE!

May 15,  2005

NOW, COULD I LOOK AT THIS CAR IN BLUE? ... OH, TOO BAD, I WAS GOING TO TAKE THE MAGIC BUS ... WHEN ON THE RUN, A LOW PROFILE IS BEST ... SOUNDS HARDER THAN A REAL JOB ... WELCOME BACK, LOSER

May 8,  2005

OUR VAGINAS THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT ... LUCKILY, MEDICAL HELP WAS NEARBY ... MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME ... HOLD ON! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!? ... A MOST UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT

May 1,  2005

YOU GO, GIRLS! ... THE HIGHWAY WAS SO BORING ... YOU THINK YOU KNOW SOMEONE ... A BOY WITH VALUES ... OK! OK! HERE`S YOUR MONEY 

April 24,  2005

RULE #1: MAKE SURE THE COAST IS CLEAR ... SAY, WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING? ... OH YEAH?! OK MEN, GO TO RAMMING SPEED! ... HA, YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME NOW ... WHAP! ... NOW, BEHAVE, OR I'LL TURN THIS CAR (PLANE) RIGHT AROUND

April 17,  2005

AND PLAN A WAS PRETTY SHAKY TOO ... HEY, KIDS, LET'S PARDEEEE! ... A MARRIED WOMAN'S FANTASY ... BUT ISN'T SOCIETY REALLY TO BLAME HERE? ... PROVIDING A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR THE KIDS

April 10,  2005

SO, DRUG ADDICTS CAN BE MOTIVATED ... UH, HI, YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND LATELY ... I THINK WE'VE CRACKED THE CASE ... HA, SHE'LL NEVER CATCH ME ... WHA? ... I'M SURE IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE

April 3,  2005

THANKS FOR YOUR HELP ... LIVING THE SIMPLE LIFE ... MAKING TROUBLE, WERE WE? ... THIS IS YOUR CAR ON DRUGS ... THIS DIRT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE IT BELONGS HERE