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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Jul. - Sep., 2002)

September 29,  2002

IT MUST BE HERE SOMEWHERE  ...  THE TONGUE OF LIFE ... HE'S IN A FANTASTIC UNION ... I THINK I'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK ... THIS IS MY LUCKY DAY, CRASH!

September 22,  2002

HOLD ON, I'VE CHANGED MY MIND AGAIN!  ...  TAKE THAT, WHAP! ...I HATE TO BE ALONE, IS THAT SO WRONG? ... WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE? ... WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SOUND, DUDE?

September 15,  2002

DO YOU HEAR ANYTHING?  ...  THE CARS FEEL VERY SAFE ... I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE! ... WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THAT? ... THIS WASN'T HIS DAY

September 8,  2002

YOU'RE UNDER ARREST, SMOOTH TALKER  ...  ALMOST, BUT NICE TRY ...PLUS THE MARKSMANSHIP AWARD ... NOW YOU REALLY CAN'T HAVE MY DAUGHTER ... THEY GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR

September 1,  2002

COULD HAVE FOOLED ME  ...  OK GOLDILOCKS, RISE AND SHINE ...CAREFULLY PLANNED AND EXECUTED ... SO, IS THIS YOURS TOO? ... NO, THAT'S ARM ... THE LONG ARM OF THE LAW

August 25,  2002

A PATTERN SEEMS TO BE EMERGING  ...  WHAT ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT, WHEEL BOY!? ... I'M, UH, HOLDING IT FOR A FRIEND ... MOVE WHEN I SAY MOVE ... IT'S ALL COMING BACK TO ME, YOUR HONOR

August 18,  2002

ONE THAT GUNS DOWN YOUR NEIGHBORS  ...  AND I'M SURE THEY WILL ... ONE TOUGH OLD DUDE ... OUTSIDE!? WE SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT ... THIS IS AN OUTRAGE

August 11,  2002

HE LOOKED OK TO ME, OFFICER  ...  HELLO, OFFICER, HOBO JIM HERE ... HE'D ALWAYS THOUGHT OF HIMSELF AS PLUMP, UNTIL NOW ... EVERYONE'S A CRITIC ... NOW THEY CAN DATE OTHER BIRDS TOO!

August 4,  2002

OK, GIVE IT UP!  ...  SO IT'S REALLY JUST A RITE OF PASSAGE ... AS YE REAP SO SHALL YE SOW ... HE DIDN'T SAY WHAT KIND OF COMPETITION ... QUICK, CALL THE KEYSTONE COPS! 

July 28,  2002

OK, ARE YOU SCARED NOW? ARE YOU!!?  ...  HI! WANT SOME COOKIES? ... PRESS 'TWO' WHEN HEART ATTACK BEGINS ... GO VAGS! ... HE HAD A VERY GOOD WORK ETHIC

July 21,  2002

COULD YOU DESCRIBE THE VEHICLE?  ...  HMMMMM, THINK I'LL TRY 'COED'S HEARTTHROB' ... HE HAS TROUBLE GETTING UP IT ... THE KISS OF DEATH ... HOW MUCH FOR THIS?

July 14,  2002

THE BEST DAMN TOURNAMENT I'VE EVER PLAYED  ...  SOME THINGS ARE JUST PERSONAL ... SHE'S GOING FOR A DIFFERENT LOOK ... THIS LOAD SHOULD BRING TOP DOLLAR ... THE INTERNATIONAL BROTHERHOOD OF NAKED LADIES

July 7,  2002

OK THEN, SLEEP WELL  ...  COULDN'T GET A SITTER?  ... AT LAST, VINDICATION! ... NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH ... YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MY WHAT?