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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (July - Sept., 2003)

September 28,  2003

WHAT, AGAIN!? ... A MAN WITH A PLAN ... A VOTE OF CONFIDENCE ... THAT'S HER 'MR. RIGHT,' THE ONE IN THE HANDCUFFS ... AT LEAST THE HORSE HAD NO CELL PHONE

September 21,  2003

ROCK YOUR  BZZZZ! AIEEEE! ... SPLAT! SPLAT! BANG! BANG!  ... OK, I THINK I SEE THE PROBLEM: ... I SAID, 'NOW!' ... A WORTHY RECIPIENT:  

September 14,  2003

THAT CAT SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER ... SHOP 'TIL YOU GET ARRESTED  ... SPECIAL MEMORIES FOR THE BRIDE  ... THE SCENE NEEDED MORE PASSION ... THAT'LL TEACH THOSE WASPS A LESSON

September 7,  2003

WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ... SOUNDS REASONABLE  ... EXCUSE ME FOLKS, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST  ... ATTITUDE PROBLEM EXTRAORDINAIRE ... YOU CUT OFF MY WHAT!?

August 31,  2003

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO BRITISH RESERVE ... I'M DEAD ... I MEAN, HE'S DEAD  ... DON'T HATE ME BECAUSE I'M BEAUTIFUL  ... NOW TAKE DOWN YOUR LEGAL BRIEFS ... HE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG

August 24,  2003

HERE'S YOUR NEW CAGE, MONKEY-BOY ... I THINK THEY'RE AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE  ... PLAN B: CALL THE COPS FOR HELP   ... TRUE LOVE NEVER RUNS SMOOTH ... HERE'S YOUR NEW CAGE, MONKEY-BOY

August 17,  2003

GOOD, CLEAN, WHOLESOME FUN ... OLD DOG, NEW TRICKS  ... DO NOT SCANDALIZE OUR HOME   ... OUCH! HEY, I WAS JUST KIDDING ... ZZZZ! ZZZZ! ZZZZ! BANG!

August 10,  2003

AND DON'T TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO I AM ... NOW THAT'S A FIGHT  ... OR, THE COMMONWEALTH OF GOOFY   ... HEY, YOU LOOK DIFFERENT ... A MENACE ON AND OFF THE ROAD

August 3,  2003

FOR THE SAKE OF EFFICIENCY ... A PENNY SAVED...  ... KA-BOOM! ARGUMENT OVER!   ... SHUT ME OFF, WILL YOU, FZZZZZT! ... SNIFF, DOES ANYONE SMELL GOATBURGERS?

July 27,  2003

VROOM! KA-BOOOM! ... NUDE TEENAGERS? WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG  ... YOUR TAX DOLLARS AT WORK   ... HEY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP ... JUSTICE AT LAST

July 20,  2003

WORDS OF COMFORT AT YOUR TIME OF SORROW ... HAPPY IN HIS WORK  ... MIND IF I DROP IN?   ... PEOPLE LISTEN TO A MAN WITH A CLIPBOARD ... I TOLD YOU, IT'S OVER! WHAP!

July 13,  2003

OH, OF COURSE, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN ... BANG, BANG YOU'RE DEAD  ... HEY, I'VE BEEN FRAMED  ... HELLO, IT'S ME AGAIN ... CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE? 

July 6,  2003

REVENGE OF THE GIRLY MAN ... I'M IN KIND OF A HURRY  ... UNSATISFIED CUSTOMER  ... NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS ... AN ABUNDANCE OF CAUTION