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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Jul - Sep, 2004)

September 26,  2004

BURPING CONTESTS? HEY, COULD BE WORSE ... CREEEAK! HEY, WHAT WAS THAT!? ... CASH TO THE FUTURE ... HERE'S MY BADGE, LET'S SEE YOURS ... CONGRATULATIONS, HERE'S YOUR TICKET

September 19,  2004

OUCH! WATCH IT, MOMMY! ... WHO'S THERE? ... 'TIL DEATH DO US ... HEY, WAIT A MINUTE ... AN ELEPHANT!? ME!? ... SORRY WE CAN'T STICK AROUND, HEH, HEH

September 12,  2004

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED ... I LIKE YOU, BUT NOT IN THAT WAY ... IT CAUSES A GOOD DEAL OF STRESS ... NO, I'M NOT, OFFICER. WHY DO YOU ASK? ... I AM SURE THEY'RE UP TO SOMETHING

September 5,  2004

FANCY MEETING YOU HERE ... YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE ... ZOLTAN, THEES DOES NOT TASTE RIGHT ... IT LOOKS LIKE THERE ARE NO MOOSE HERE ... WHAM! ... AND IF WE REFUSE?

August 29,  2004

THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS ... LOOKING FOR ME, MOM?  ... A PERFECT ENDING FOR HIS CAREER ... LIKE YOU, LUNA, BUT NOT LIKE THAT ... MAYBE I WON'T SLAUGHTER HER NOW

August 22,  2004

DOES A BEAR PUKE IN THE WOODS? ... YEAH, THAT'S IT, GEESE ... PROMISE YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ME ... YOU KNOW HOW THE GUYS GET ... PEEK-A-BOO

August 15,  2004

AREN'T LAWSUITS ANNOYING? ... OK LADY, TIME TO GIVE IT BACK ... HE AIN'T HEAVY ... OH YES HE IS ... FOR FIVE BUCKS, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? ... AN ADMIRER OF FEMALE BEAUTY

August 8,  2004

NO, NO, I CAN EXPRAIN ... PLEASE, DO NOT BE ALARMED! ... OH HONEY, COULD YOU COME OUT HERE? ... THUS BEGINS THE NEW 'GREAT DEPRESSION' ... GROWL! GIVE HIM BACK!

August 1,  2004

OK HONEY, I KNOW THIS LOOKS BAD ... OH, AS LONG AS YOU HAD A GOOD REASON ... I'LL COME OUT WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY! ... YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! ... ME!? DON'T YOU MEAN HIM!?

July 25,  2004

COLLEGE SURE HAS CHANGED FOR THE BETTER ... DID YOU SAY CORVETTE!? ... AND THE WINNER IS ... ... SEE, I TOLD YOU! ... I JUST COULDN'T KEEP IT

July 18,  2004

YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME!? ... COME ON, IT'S JUST A TECHNICALITY ... I AM SHOCKED, SHOCKED, TO FIND THERE IS GAMBLING HERE ... SHE THOUGHT IT WOULD MAKE HIM CRAZY ... OK, A PAIR BEATS ACE-HIGH ...

July 11,  2004

THOU SHALT NOT WRITE ANYTHING DOWN ... MEOOOOOW! PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD! ... THIS DON'T LOOK LIKE HER ... HEY, LOOK, I'M JUST LUCKY, OK!? ... I WANT TO SHARE YOU WITH THE WORLD!

July 4,  2004

HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WAS ME? ... BLESSED EVENT TAKES PRECEDENCE ... STEP RIGHT UP, FOLKS!  ... QUALIFICATIONS!? WE DON'T CARE ABOUT QUALIFICATIONS! ... NOBODY WILL NOTICE US HERE