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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Oct. - Dec., 2000)

December 31, 2000

THAT WOULD MAKE A LOVELY CHRISTMAS CARD ... FOR ME! OH, HOW THOUGHTFUL OF YOU! ... A HOUSE? NAAH, COULDN'T BE! ... YOU NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY GIRL ... HAVEN'T I SEEN YOU BEFORE? ... OFFICER, TAKE A LOOK IN HERE

December 24, 2000

I SUPPOSE ANOTHER DATE IS OUT OF THE QUESTION ... CRIM DUZ NOT PAY ... AHHHH! JUST FEEL THAT BREEZE ... LET'S PLAY BY THE RULES, SHALL WE? ... I REALLY AM THE QUEEN MOTHER

December 17, 2000

YOU WANT COOKIES WITH THAT? ... OH, IIIII LOVE A PARADE ... HAMMING IT UP  ... YEAH, PULL OVER HERE! ... THIS IS SO ROMA -  AIEEEE!

December 10, 2000

RIGHT ON! KEEP EXPRESSING YOURSELF, BABY! ... OK, SO MAYBE I WAS EXAGGERATING ... BUNNIES, BUNNIES EVERYWHERE  ... I DIDN'T HEAR 'EXCUSE ME' ... HEY, I HAD TO GO UNDER COVER

December 3, 2000

THE BLUE SUEDE SHOES CAPER ... LOOK, A DEER! HEY, HE SEES ME! AIEEEE! ... YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T BALTIMORE AIRPORT?  ... ALL IN ALL, AN EXCELLENT TRIP ... OK, I ADMIT IT! MY DOG IS A DRUG ADDICT!

November 26, 2000

WELL, NOW YOU KNOW, DUDE ... SPORTSMANSHIP ABOVE ALL ... JUST THINK OF IT, A LIFE WITHOUT BREWSKIS ... BECAUSE DADDY DOESN'T LOVE ME ... ALL THIS FOR A LOUSY SMOKE?

November 19, 2000

THAT WAS NO LADY ... IS THERE A MERIT BADGE FOR THAT? ... CALL OF THE WILD, SUBURBAN-STYLE ... KEEP DEMAGOGUERY ALIVE ... TAKE THAT, COPPER! 

November 12, 2000

SOMETIME 'FULL DISCLOSURE' GOES TOO FAR ... HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, PARDNER! ... HOW MUCH FOR A CAMBODIAN OIL JOB? ... OH I SEE THE PROBLEM ... TRIPPED UP BY THE RULES OF THE ROAD

November 5, 2000

OOPS! ... HE SEEMED SO NICE, AT FIRST ... THE KIDS WON'T MAKE ANY TROUBLE ... HE'S BACK ... BUT, I COULD HAVE CHANGED HIM, YOUR HONOR

October 29, 2000

WHO YOU CALLING LAZY? ... SURE, WE'D LIKE TO SEE THE GAME, BUT HOW? ... STOP KIDDING AROUND, WHERE'S BILLY? ... YOU OK TO DRIVE? ... WHOSE HOUSE?

October 22, 2000

LUMBERJACKS JUST LOVE POETIC NUANCE... TAKE THE HARD LINE WITH THESE GUYS ... WHO IS MY LITTLE PUP ... CHOMP! ... ROOTING FOR THE UNDERDOG ... LET'S DO THIS ANOTHER TIME, BYE!

October 15, 2000

LOVELY DAY FOR A WALK, THWACK! THUD! ... IS THAT YOU, KENNY? ... A LITTLE TENSION IN THE PRESIDENTIAL PALACE ... AND HE DIDN'T EVEN BUY HER DINNER ... RISK? HA! I SCOFF AT RISK!

October 8, 2000

ONE TEACHER HE'LL REMEMBER ... WHAT CAN THEY DO TO ME ANYWAY? ... A LONG AND TEDIOUS PROCESS ... SEEMED LIKE A FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD ... MOTHER OF THE YEAR

October 1, 2000

NOT EXACTLY A CAT BURGLAR ... SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR... WELCOME HOME ... THIS CALL'S FOR YOU, WHAM! ... THE DRINKS ARE ON HIM