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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Oct - Dec., 2003)

December 28,  2003

NAUGHTY OR NICE? ... OK, SMOOTH TALKER, LET'S GO ... I'LL BE BACK ... IT WAS ALL HIM ... SURE, SHE'S A BIT DIFFICULT ...

December 21,  2003

SO, BASICALLY, HE HAD TO GO ... A LADY SHOULD REFER TO THAT AREA AS 'DOWN THERE' ... WHAT'S A MOTHER TO DO? ... ALWAYS PAY IN CASH ... CHECKOUT COUNTER RAGE

December 14,  2003

I'VE SEEN THIS ONE BEFORE ... NO, NO, A LEFT, TAKE A LEFT!  ... SANTA GOES TO PRISON ... THE STUDENTS AREN'T REALLY THAT INTERESTING ... EL GRANDE NO MORE

December 7,  2003

NO! PLEASE, NO! WE'LL GIVE IT BACK! ... SHE'S NOT AS SMART AS HE IS ... OFFICER, I UNDERSTAND YOU HAVE MY HUSBAND ... HERE BIRDIE, NICE BIRDIE ... NO! NO! BAD DOG! KA-BLAM!

November 30,  2003

HEY, I KNOW HER ... THE WORLD WILL END ... FOR US ANYWAY ... GOING FOR THE GRAND PRIZE ... CIVIC DUTY DONE, NOW I CAN REST ... COPS!? OUT HERE!?

November 23,  2003

FREEDOM! FREEDOM! HEY, WAIT! NO! ... EXCUSE ME, SORRY, CAN'T SEE ... LAUGHING? WONDER WHY? ... SAY THAT TO MY FACE! ... CHEAP RENT, LADIES ONLY

November 16,  2003

WHY NOT JUST HOLD YOUR BREATH 'TIL YOU TURN BLUE ... ARE YOU DECENT? ... SORRY WE'RE LATE ... AND WHAT IF I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT? ... REMEMBER ME?

November 9,  2003

BUT I DID NOT SHOOT THE DEPUTY ... HAVE A VERY SPOOKY CHRISTMAS ..."GET HIM!" ... WE HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA WHO HE IS ... NO TREATS FOR YOU

November 2,  2003

UNDERCOVER OPERATION ... YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT A COP? ...MAYBE HE'S A LIBERAL ... NOT BAD FOR A SCHOOL DAY ...STANDING TALL IN A BUICK LACROSSE

October 26,  2003

NO, NO, THAT'S STIFF 'UPPER LIP' ... DRUGS? FROM AMERICA? ... PEEK-A-BOO, I SEE YOU ... BUT WAS IT FUN FOR HIM? ... POSING FOR HIS 'WANTED' POSTER

October 19,  2003

THEATER RAGE ... A ROBBERY, EH? WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT ... SHE HAS DRIVEN ME TO THIS! ... A LOVELY DAY, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? ... EVER HEAR OF A 15-MINUTE RECESS, YOUR HONOR?

October 12,  2003

AND HE HAD SIX MARTINIS, SHAKEN, NOT STIRRED ... HELLO OFFICER?, YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS ... TOUGH LOVE ... TO HELL WITH NEW YORK, I'M FLYING THIS BABY TO THE MOON ... QUICK, CALL FOR BACKUP

October 5,  2003

WE SUSPECT THE WORST ... HEY, THAT'S FIGHTING DIRTY ... GOD PROTECTS THE IDIOTS ... BUSINESS MUST BE PRETTY GOOD ... ODDLY, IT ISN'T VERY HOT