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Mike Pingree

Past Columns (Oct - Dec, 2004)

December 26,  2004

SO, IS ZEES A - HOW YOU SAY - PROBLEM? ... FOOD LINE RAGE ... GUILTY, BUT ... NICE WORK ... IT'S LIKE THE TWILIGHT ZONE, MAN ... MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

December 19,  2004

BUT THERE'S `STUPID' AND THEN THERE'S `BOMB STUPID' ... OUR LOSS IS KENTUCKY'S PROBLEM ... COME ON, SHOOT ME! I SAID, SHOOT ME! ... OK, LET'S DO THIS QUICK ... DON'T CALL ME CRAZY

December 12,  2004

WHO YOU CALLIN' FATSO!? WHAP! ... ``BUBBLE, BUBBLE, YOU'RE IN TROUBLE:'' ... AND, AFTER THAT, HANGED ... THIS LOOKS LIKE AS GOOD A PLACE AS ANY ... DISTURB ME, WILL YOU!   

December 5,  2004

YOU SAYIN' I'VE GOT BAD MANNERS! WHAM! ... I THINK HE WENT THIS WAY ... YOU KNOW, LIKE, CRAZY IN LOVE ... WERE YOU AFTER ME, OFFICER? ... GEE, I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT CAME FROM

November 28,  2004

COULD THIS AFFECT MY JOB? ... SLEEP TIGHT, DON'T LET THE BEDBUGS BITE ... MMMPH, WHA? NO, CALL LATER ... DON'T WORRY, I'M HERE, HONEY ... DON'T TELL ME TO WATCH WHERE I'M GOING! ... CRASH!

November 21,  2004

HONEY, I DID IT FOR US! ... PULL OVER HERE ... DID YOU WANT ME FOR SOMETHING? ... IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED ... AND THAT REACTION WAS STRONG INDEED

November 14,  2004

THAT'S GRATITUDE FOR YA' ... WELL, `SORRY' JUST DON'T GET IT, LADY ... FASTER! FASTER! ... JUST BE NICE TO HIM ... YOU SAY PICCATA; I SAY MARSALA ... BLAM! BLAM!

November 7,  2004

CAREFUL HONEY ... NO, WAIT ... BLAM! OW! ... WHO YOU CALLIN' A 'HO'? ... SO GOODBYE AND GOOD LUCK ... THIS PIECE OF PAPER SAYS 'LET HIM GO' ... UH, NURSE, THIS IS KIND OF EMBARRASSING

October 31,  2004

BUT THE GAME'S ON! ... SURE, LADY, WE BELIEVE YOU ... SHAKE YOUR FIST AT ME, WILL YOU!? ... BUT IT SEEMED TO MAKE SENSE AT THE TIME 

October 24,  2004

BUT THE GAME'S ON! ... HI, I KNOW THIS LOOKS ODD, BUT ... AND THEY MIGHT PUT A SPELL ON US ... SHE'S GOT MY VOTE ... COME TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, OFFICER 

October 17,  2004

SNIFF, I SMELL DANGER ... I GOT IT, NO PROBLEM, FZZZZZT! ... NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! VROOOM! ...  NYAH, NYAH! ... NOT ONLY ARROGANT, BUT STUPID TOO

October 10,  2004

I'LL WATCH THE EVIDENCE, MAN ... IT'S OVER WHEN I SAY IT'S OVER ... MAYBE IT REALLY CELEBRATES STUPID ... OH, SURE, YOU KNOW I'LL STICK WITH YOU ... WHAT THE HECK IS THAT NOISE!

October 3,  2004

BETTER LATE THAN NEVER ... OK, WHAT IF I TURN UP THE THERMOSTAT? ... A LADY, DAMMIT! ... OH, IN THAT CASE, NEVER MIND ... A MAN'S GOTTA MAKE A LIVING